This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
