Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
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I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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