OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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