Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
