"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This beer is not sobering me up at all
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
