big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
