He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
