Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
