i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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