so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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