since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
