shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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