Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
