May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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