yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
