if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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