break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
