he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
