I met the friendliest cop last night
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize