Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize