My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
