I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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