a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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