woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
