wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
