Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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