Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
