i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
