There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
