the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i think i just lost a toe
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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