So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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