In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
