I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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