The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
