I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
