Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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