I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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