If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
