I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
