I want to have your abortion
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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