so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
