god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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