Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
