Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
