I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
