Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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