Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
