just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Jerry, you need to find god
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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