She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
