You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
