dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
