Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I need to calm my uterus...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize