I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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