Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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