Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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