it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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