how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
