Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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