What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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