If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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