so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
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my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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